The dog wags back!

A sometimes funny, somtimes angry, but mostly progressive, blog on the politics and issues of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and America.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Changes to Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service

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Dear Google user,

We're getting rid of over 60 different privacy policies across Google and replacing them with one that's a lot shorter and easier to read. Our new policy covers multiple products and features, reflecting our desire to create one beautifully simple and intuitive experience across Google.

We believe this stuff matters, so please take a few minutes to read our updated Privacy Policy and Terms of Service at http://www.google.com/policies. These changes will take effect on March 1, 2012.


One policy, one Google experience
Easy to work across Google Tailored for you Easy to share and collaborate
Easy to work across Google

Our new policy reflects a single product experience that does what you need, when you want it to. Whether you're reading an email that reminds you to schedule a family get-together or finding a favorite video that you want to share, we want to ensure you can move across Gmail, Calendar, Search, YouTube, or whatever your life calls for with ease.

Tailored for you

If you're signed into Google, we can do things like suggest search queries – or tailor your search results – based on the interests you've expressed in Google+, Gmail, and YouTube. We'll better understand which version of Pink or Jaguar you're searching for and get you those results faster.

Easy to share and collaborate

When you post or create a document online, you often want others to see and contribute. By remembering the contact information of the people you want to share with, we make it easy for you to share in any Google product or service with minimal clicks and errors.


Protecting your privacy hasn't changed

Our goal is to provide you with as much transparency and choice as possible, through products like Google Dashboard and Ads Preferences Manager, alongside other tools. Our privacy principles remain unchanged. And we'll never sell your personal information or share it without your permission (other than rare circumstances like valid legal requests).

Got questions?
We've got answers.

Visit our FAQ at http://www.google.com/policies/faq to read more about the changes. (We figured our users might have a question or twenty-two.)


Notice of Change

March 1, 2012 is when the new Privacy Policy and Terms will come into effect. If you choose to keep using Google once the change occurs, you will be doing so under the new Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.

Please do not reply to this email. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered. Also, never enter your Google Account password after following a link in an email or chat to an untrusted site. Instead, go directly to the site, such as mail.google.com or www.google.com/accounts. Google will never email you to ask for your password or other sensitive information.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

New Cop Uniforms


Mayor Luke Ravenstahl modeled the new Official Mayor Luke Ravenstahl City of Pittsburgh Police uniform. "I decided that we needed a fresh new look for the Police," the Boy-Mayor intoned seriously, "something that would be a fresh change from the stodgy uniforms of the past and give our officers a look that would appeal to young people." The young Mayor was baffled by the protests of a group of women. To their chants of "No More Wife-Beaters!" the Mayor responded: "Silly girls are confusing the officers with the uniform."

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Ficus Scandal

Ficus, write-in candidate for Mayor of Pittsburgh has been linked to TV's Daytime Hooker. Most recently a consultant for Councilwoman Twanda Cheney Carlisle, the sultry seductress was revealed to be the linchpin to the candidates fiscal recovery plan.

Ficus said only this in response: "Yes, she is THAT good."

No Bad Press


Most PR hacks will tell you, "There is no such thing as bad press." This may in part explain the penchant for Pittsburgh's Boy-Mayor Luke Ravensteal to zealously hop from photo-op to photo-op - it's all good press.


Or maybe it is a case of political "press envy." The Dog has recently learned that the Mayor's strategy has benchmarked previous administrations for what it calls "name penetration."


Here are the stats:


Tom Murphy in 12 years in office during the growth of the internet registered 1,270,000 google hits for a rate of 8,819 per month. Bob O'Connor, in the post-boom, post-bust, internet on demand era registered 1,020,000 hits in just 8 months in office for an astounding rate of 127,500 hits per month - but he literally had to die to generate that kind of press. Now Luke has managed to register only 52,800 hits in seven months in office, or 7,543 per month, well shy of the pace set by the beloathed Mayor Tom.


Campaign insiders now say that Cranky Peduto dropped out of the race in order to reduce Luke's press coverage and thwart his strategy of internet dominance. Much of the Boy-Blunder's actions can be now seen in an new light. Pollsters are already taking the pulse of the city to see if Luke should pick a fight with another hot celeb, start a war with Cleveland, get his cigar smoked, or consider more drastic options.

Photo Rebound

Boy-Mayor Luke Ravensteal's photo index rebounded in dramatic fashion for the month of April. Despite having no opposition in the primary AND having fired his official spokesweasel, the Mayor nonethless managed an impressive 50% gain over the March photo ops, but still down 21% from the February high.

9,999 Friends of PA

Pennsylvania lost a "Friend" when Janet Milkman, the President of 10,000 Friends of Pennsylvania took a new job with Future of Life, Inc. , a nonprofit cult dedicated to saving every living thing and selling T-shirts and bumper stickers. With her departure, the organization no longer has the required 10,000 friends and will be changing its name to 9,999 Friends of Pennsylvania.

According to Julie Lalo, Vice President for Strategic Communciations, the name change should generate new interest in the organization. "You can never buy anything for $10, it's always $9.99, so the new name will be something that people can relate to."

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Moving Forward

The City-County Building may be shrouded in scaffolding but that doesn't mean that the engines fo government are losing steam. In a flurry of activity, the Ravensteal administration announced major plans for the Mayor Luke Ravensteal's City of Pittsburgh Moving Forward Progress Plan. A central element of the plan is updating various outdated aspects of the city. Starting with the roads. Not repaving them of course, and certainly not coordinating the road construction that has currently shut down the East End.

The Mayor's plan is much more bold. He is renaming several landmark city streets to be more in keeping with the times. "Ain't nobody getting any grants out of this City, so having our offices on Grant Street just sends the wrong message, so in my plan it becomes Boss Street." The Boulevard of the Allies conjures images of World War II and old boomers, and it sounds French, so it has to go. In its place will be the Avenue of Moving Forward. Finally, Cherry Way will be renamed Mayor Luke Ravensteal's Way, but no explanation was provided on what was wrong with Cherry Way.

Windfall


Boy-Mayor Luke Ravensteal announced his plan for the City's newly found financial windfall. He is going to use the money to honor his Pittsburgh Promise. The proposal, early in the Boy-Mayor's regency was the first policy initiative not stolen from his elected predecessor, Mayor Bob O'Connor was cribbed from an initiative in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

When the promise was made, the plan for funding was vague. N0w that the windfall has been located, the Mayor decided to make good on his promise. Of course with the average college tuition costing more than $12,000, this $80 million should be enough to nearly get the class of 2007 through college. The Mayor's office declined to comment but "promised" to issue a clarification on what they meant by the Pittsburgh Promise as soon as they get some answers from Kalamazoo.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I will bury him!


In a surprise move, Luke Ravensteal, a first-time candidate for the citywide office of Mayor of Simpleton has agreed to meet his challenger in debate in a shoe-bashing declarative tantrum. Ficus, a veteran of several congressional campaigns, has developed a reputation for frustrating opponents with his steely silence. George Ploddington III, who debated Ficus in the campaign for California's 1,275th District could only describe the experience as surreal. "He has a steely resolve, and while he might bend under a storm of questioning, he never breaks," Representative Ploddington remarked.

Ficus issued a statement accepting the Mayor's debate terms, but noted that technically, his current potting was equivalent to a "burial" so the Mayor's reference was confusing. The response infuriated the Mayor, who promised to "axe" his opponent some tough questions.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Ficus 2007


The race for Mayor of Pittsburgh has taken a new twist now that Ficus has joined the race. Saying that Pittsburgh should have more to choose from than an idiot and an asshole, Ficus sprang a late campaign drive to steal the Mayoral thunder from Mayor-by-Other's Misfortune Luke Ravensteal and from coy challenger Mark "Denial ain't just a Gypo River" DeSanitize.

A Ficus spokeswoman who identified herself only as "Sue" from Plantscape, said that Ficus would obviously run on the Green ticket and offered a better choice than the Dumbocratic or Republicrooked candiates. Ficus relocated to Pittsburgh following devastating defeats in 24 congressional campaigns in 2000 (http://www.commondreams.org/headlines/060100-02.htm). According to Ms. Sue, Ficus came to Pittsburgh to get "grounded" after the 2000 campaign, and that Ficus has "grown" since those campaigns and now can offer both Bite and Bark. Neither Sue nor Ficus would comment on the candidate's ties to left-wing provocateur Michael Moore.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Revitalize Pittsburgh

Mayor Luke Ravensteal announced his new Mayor Luke Ravensteal's Youth Pittsburgh Initiative (YouPI). Mayor Luke Ravensteal announced the new plan based on recommendations from a team of consultants. "Twanda had some really good researchers looking for a project and I needed to find a new vision for Pittsburgh, so it really kinda worked out pretty cool," said the Boy Blunder. The consultants benchmarked Pittsburgh against "many" other cities, including Atlanta, and determined that the cool, growing cities all had much higher traffic congestion.

The consultants study found that: "Traffice [sic] congestion is positively associable [sic] with increased growulation [sic]." As a result, Mayor Luke Ravensteal has ordered the Department of Public Works to coordinate with County and State authorities to increase traffic congestion.

"We've always tried to shut down main corridors and alternate routes at the same time, but with political pressure and limited resources, we never really could," said city Works Czar, Guy "Cash 'N Carry" Costa. Now with Mayor Luke Ravensteal's directive under the Mayor Luke Ravensteal Youth Pittsburgh Initiative, the City has the authority to really cause some congestion. Public Works has secretly been testing the plan for months. "We reduced the Parkway East to one lane, then we started work on the Boulevard (of the Allies), Forbes, combined with some Second Avenue lane restrictions and the work on the Hot Metal, Birmingham and Grays Bridges and we really shut down the East End," reported an anonymous source within the City. Preliminary reports on the success of the plan are pending the consultants update.