I will bury him!

In a surprise move, Luke Ravensteal, a first-time candidate for the citywide office of Mayor of Simpleton has agreed to meet his challenger in debate in a shoe-bashing declarative tantrum. Ficus, a veteran of several congressional campaigns, has developed a reputation for frustrating opponents with his steely silence. George Ploddington III, who debated Ficus in the campaign for California's 1,275th District could only describe the experience as surreal. "He has a steely resolve, and while he might bend under a storm of questioning, he never breaks," Representative Ploddington remarked.

Ficus issued a statement accepting the Mayor's debate terms, but noted that technically, his current potting was equivalent to a "burial" so the Mayor's reference was confusing. The response infuriated the Mayor, who promised to "axe" his opponent some tough questions.