Easter Miracle

(IP Newswire)

Since Bill "Cranky" Peduto dropped out of the Mayoral race, city crews have ceased filling potholes. Initial reports that the stoppage was due to Mayor Ravenstahl's belief that he had "this thing sewn up" have turned out to be false. The real reason turns out to be much more mysterious.

A Public Works crew patching streets in the Northside made a startling discovery last week. The image of the Mayor was visible in water that had collected in the pothole. Later that morning crews around the city reported similar sitings. The images disappear when the water is drained.

Experts called to examine the images and the potholes have found no evidence that these appearances are the result of the Boy-Mayor's penchant for whoring his image. Vatican experts are due to arrive later this week to investigate what is being called an Easter miracle.

The Boy-Mayor had little to say except: "This kind of freaks me out." Chief of Photography Yarone Zober (real name) was not available for comment and was reportedly scouring the city looking for his own visage in our multitude of potholes.